The Wholehearted Moms Conference

It's dark and quiet in the house, and I'm "sitting by my laughing fire" in a velvet armchair, snuggled up with steaming coffee, an ancient quilt, and my Bible. I'm sure there's not a better way to start a birthday.

I can't explain how life-changing the Wholehearted Moms conference was for me. I went to it excited to finally hear Sally speak, glad to have a sweet friend with me, and thankful for a break that included little pampering treats. But I didn't stop to think that I might hear and learn things that would impact my heart. I just didn't get that far--I was still thinking about 30 hours without changing a diaper.

In retrospect, as I sit and read over my notes from the conference, I'm struck by three phrases she often repeated: we are civilizers; we are to speak life to our children; we are to be lightbearers.

During my quiet time this morning, I wrote in my journal about each concept, and how I see it in my own life, and how I want to see it more. I love the idea of being a civilizer, and anyone with a couple of boys or more easily sees that necessity! Now that my boys have taught the baby to pretend to burp and then sweetly pipe up, "'Scuse me!" I see I have more work to do. But I'll hold the image of civilizing closely to me as I correct table manners, wipe up spills, wash clothes, and remind them to speak softly in the library. Civilized children are becoming a rarity, as are civilized adults. When was the last time someone blared their horn at you, or worse, for changing lanes without signaling? All I have to do is go to the local Tom Thumb, where several sullen teenagers work, to see that our children need our civilizing touch!

Speaking life to my children--and to anyone else around me--touched me deeply. Sally was quick to point out that children need both "high love" and "high discipline," so speaking life doesn't mean making excuses for poor behavior or tolerating sin. But it does mean taking a minute to think before speaking. It means speaking life-giving words of encouragement (not false flattery), and love, and hope to them. This world is going to be cruel enough, without children suffering from their mothers joining in through thoughtless words. I am not cruel to my children, of course, but I can easily become harsh and impatient when flustered. Just ask Bridget. Every time she calls me, my children sense I'm helpless, and they run wild. As the house spins out of control, I find my blood pressure and voice rising. After hearing Sally, I instituted "Phone Drills." When the phone rings, the two older ones bolt for their beds, where they look at books until I'm off the phone. Once they hear my shout, "ALL CLEAR!" they can get up and be noisy again. It's one little way I can tame moments when I'm tempted to be less than life-giving.

And being a lightbearer is important, especially in this culture of relativism, disrespect for authority, and tolerance for every religion but Christianity, it seems. I have to point the way for my children, and teach them to walk in it, before they're called to go out and walk it on their own. Remembering this keeps my priorities in check: church is important, sports not so much. Devotions and books are important, cartoons aren't. Family dinners are important; attending every birthday party, baby shower, or item-selling party isn't. So by remembering that my days to be a lightbearer are short, I pare down our activities to make sure what we're doing matters.

There was so much more to the conference that spoke to me. Sarah spoke on the importance of beauty in our walk with God, and Sally spoke of the different seasons in a mother's life, which resonated with me, as our family has gone through each one in the past couple of years. I'm already looking ahead to next year's conference with much anticipation and have recruited Bridget to come with me, when I assured her it's not only for homeschooling mothers. If you live nearby or are able to travel, I can highly recommend attending. I feel like the breath of God has blown through me, and I'm looking forward to working on those three things in the coming year with my children and family.