I don't think I realized, when I had romantic notions of marriage and motherhood, that somebody would have to wash clothes, empty the dishwasher, manage the finances, and make the meals. And I certainly didn't realize that would be me. I didn't get off scot-free as a child: on the contrary, I was the first-born, so I did the bulk of the chores and even cooked dinner for my entire family once a week. But I couldn't realize, until it was my own life and family, that I'd be doing this day in, day out, for the rest of my life. It's a little daunting. And to do it well takes more than a haphazard approach. Hence, the system.
I am happy to announce that I have found, after much tweaking, a system that works well for me. Actually, it's a system of systems that includes most of my home/child management tasks. I've been scarce over the last few months because I have been researching, planning, and implementing these systems to see if they'd work. There is nothing worse than a system that doesn't work.
You know how it is: you realize you never get your housework done, or that your kids are watching too much TV, or that you're eating Lean Cuisine for dinner every night, and then you feel ambitious to change. You create systems that look great on paper but stink in real life. So you give up, falling back on dirty laundry, TV zombies, and frozen meals again. Well, that's worse-case scenario, but I think what I'm describing isn't uncommon.
So this summer I've spent much of my free time with a notebook, my library card, my laptop, and frequent trips to Half Price Books and Barnes and Noble. There were some areas I felt needed improvement in our family:
1. Meals
2. Household chores
3. Bill paying and checkbook balancing
4. Establishing my own alone time
5. Exercise
6. My children entertaining themselves without TV
Obviously, nobody can take on all six of those at once. Gradually over the course of the year, as we've adjusted to another baby, I've worked on making real food to eat every night--my husband does not consider a casserole "real food"--and sitting down with at least four of us to eat. (The baby's presence is negotiable.) In addition, I wanted it to involve eating at the table, no TV, and everybody eating the same thing (no special requests due to picky eaters). But despite my best intentions, the last thing I want to do on Sunday evening is come up with a meal plan for the coming week, and trying to craft a real meal at 5 p.m. with an empty pantry doesn't work well.
So I fell back on something I did before Grayson was born: a rotating menu plan. I had one in place then, but that was when I'd only been pregnant once and was far from thirty. This time, I needed healthier selections. Now, a word of warning: this is not for the faint-hearted.
If you're game, though, here's what I did: I gathered four cookbooks that meet several criteria: food we'd really eat (squash soup does not qualify) that is a sane level of healthy (anything with tofu also does not qualify) and is neither expensive nor terribly time-consuming to prepare. I made a spreadsheet and listed 36 main dish meals (about six weeks, since we have Date Night once a week), trying to balance chicken, beef, turkey, and quick, as well as making sure I threw in Italian, Mexican, and Asian for some flair. I also made sure I had favorite foods and traditional comfort foods. Then I found about 25 side dishes, balancing vegetable, grain, salad, and bread. Once I did this, I made a new spreadsheet of two weeks of meals on each page and then cut and pasted the meal choices into the blank spaces. I rounded out meals with green salads and an occasional dessert.
Then, and this is the part that made me want to quit, I printed out my grocery list template* and checked off each ingredient needed for each week's worth of meals, making one for each week's plan. I then took an empty binder with tabbed dividers and put the six weeks of meal plans in the first section, followed by the grocery lists in the next, finished off by the original spreadsheet of 36 meals.
Here comes the payoff: The next evening, after the kids were in bed, I grabbed a grocery list that had been printed but not written on yet and checked off each ingredient I needed for the week, plus any non-perishable ingredients for next week, leaving off anything on the list but already in my pantry. And because my grocery list is customized, I was able to put checks next to "hamster food," "wipes," etc. All household and grocery items were accounted for. With list in hand, I shopped for our family of five in under an hour. I only bought one ingredient not on the list and spent far less than usual. So far, so good.
Monday morning, before we started the first day of school I pulled out the binder, saw I needed to thaw meat, and opened the cookbook on the counter. Making dinner last night was far less trouble than usual, and my husband even mentioned to the kids how great supper looked--a payoff worth the work. There were also enough leftovers for all of to have for lunch today.
There were moments, while gathering recipes and writing down lists of ingredients, that I wondered if it was worth the work, but dinner last night was the proof. And now, for the next six weeks, I don't need to think about what's for dinner. Every two weeks I'll buy all nonperishable items for the next two weeks of meal plans, as well as one week's worth of meat, dairy, vegetables, etc., and the second week I'll make a quick run to buy the remaining needed perishable items. Grocery shopping, a necessary evil, has been reduced to a relatively quick, purpose-driven task done no more often than once every week. To top it off, the list is flexible, manageable, and can be recycled throughout the year. Nobody's going to complain if we eat the same thing once every six weeks! One of my most time-consuming chores is now easily managed. Check.
Tomorrow, I'll talk about chores. This one is easier, quicker, and also works. As long as I do, that is.
*My grocery list template was created by my brother-in-law, bless his soul. He went to our favorite grocery store, noted what was on each aisle and in the freezer, meat, and dairy sections, and came up with a spreadsheet that lists each item by aisle or section. He even put the icon of the store at the top, which makes me laugh every time I see it. Each item has a checkbox and space to mark how many are needed of each thing. I simply circle each thing I need, then take the list and highlight off as I go. It makes shopping much simpler. Thank you, Jeremy!
ineed2change.com